I admit it... I'm scared

[lordwriothsley]

Rani I'm glad to see you feeling better today.Do still continue to take care of yourself and I will still continue to pray for a speedy recovery for you lass.Sending lots of hugs and love your way sweetheart.

[Rani Zemirah]

So all this week I've been feeling a little worse every day, but this morning I felt great!!! Until about 20 minutes after I took these lousy pills. Now I feel like I could yurk all night, and I still have to take the shot tonight. I don't have anyone to distract me in chat this time, so I'm flying solo this week. I was hoping it wouldn't keep getting worse, but I guess I couldn't really expect it to be as easy as it's been so far.

Chemo sucks... but, I guess it's ultimately better than the alternative, eh???

[Rani Zemirah]

Thanks, Lord W, I appreciate you're many kindnesses...

P.S. I'm rooting for you, too!

[Tygrkat]

You're doing great, kiddo...{{hugs}}   

I've never known anyone while they were going through chemo, but my Mom was a transplant recipient, and her sense of humor, positive attitude, good friends and solid support system, and just plain stubbornness helped get her through the rough parts...you seem like you've got a good foundation and you're right - it sure beats the alternative...

...and as long as any of us are online, you're not really solo - your Faire-mily's got your back 

[Tygrkat]

{{HUGS}}

Hoping you're well this morning 

[Rani Zemirah]

Thanks for the hugs, Tygrkat, they really help. Not so great this morning, but then again I didn't expect to be.

Still, nothing can be all bad, and it seems that just when things start looking really rough, the Universe drops a gift in your lap that changes the way the whole world looks. I've had lots of reasons to smile lately, and it's made this ordeal much more bearable, and even funny occasionally (who knew you could laugh and yurk at the same time???)!

Thanks to all of you who continue to support me through this, and especially one in particular (you know who you are), it's getting easier, even as it gets more intense. And thanks for all the laughter... I look forward to it every day!

[Fairyfly]

*super hugs!* You're doing great hun. I know not feeling well sucks, but you've got friends who love ya here!

[Rani Zemirah]

Thanks, sweetie, and I hope everything is getting easier for you and yours! Give your little one a big hug from me!

[lordwriothsley]

Rani I'll second FairyFly on what she said that you do indeed have friends on here who love you.After all that is what friends are for sending words and thoughts of encouragement when ones needs them the most.Hang in there and stay strong cause I have faith that you will get through this.Lots of Hugs to you Darlin.

[Rani Zemirah]

Thank you, Lord W. I'm feeling a bit better today, and just think, I have a whole week to go until the next one!

[lordwriothsley]

Yes I hear you all the way however I wish that this whole mess would be done and over with right now for you cause I hate to see you suffer like these treatments and making you do.I'm glad to see you do good through the week but honestly it breaks my heart to see you suffer on the weekend when you have to apply this to yourself.

[Peddlin]

Hey Rani -

Sorry, I am a little late, but I have just been reading through your thread, and I have to tell you that I am impressed. I know what fun these maniacs can be, and I love them for it, but I have to say that I am very impressed with you, as well. You have been very brave and very strong through your ordeal, and I think that "fighter" attitude is a major part of what is getting you through all of this. That is not to take anything away from the incredible support system you have got going here. These are some of the most wonderful people in the world, and you will notice that most Rennies are fiercely loyal, so just be sure that you realize that we've all got your back. None of us can do this for you, but we can be there every step of the way to help carry your load. And you seem to be doing a great job of handling this, yourself. Take it from someone who spent 3 and a half years in a wheelchair, and for a while was not sure of survival, you can handle this, as you have proven, not only to yourself, but to all of us, as well. Every treatment is one closer to the last one, and we will all be here for you through every step of your countdown. It may not mean much, but I am very proud of you.

Peddlin   

[Rani Zemirah]

Peddlin',

You have no idea how much it means to me to have all of you wonderful friends here with me through this. It makes it so much more bearable, and some of it has even been fun! Who knew that pouring my heart out on here would start this little party??? I'm having so much more fun trying to laugh through it all than I would have crying, and this thread makes that much easier than it might otherwise be, some days.

Thank you for your vote of confidence, Peddlin'. It means a lot to me that someone who has survived their own pain and fear would see strength in me. I truly do understand what a treasure I have found here in all of you, and I value each and every one!  Thank you for all your support.

Lord W, I hope it will just get easier with each shot, but even if it doesn't, it's still bearable with all the love and prayers I receive from all of you! Thank you so much!

[Joyce "Delfinia DuSwallow" Howard]

Rani, sorry I'm so late in sending you prayers.But know I admire you for staying so tough and knowing you can get thru this.I'm sending you lots of prayers that each day be a little brighter for you and a little easier. Know that each of us on these boards do care and send you prayers.

[Rani Zemirah]

Lady Joyce Ann, thank you so much for your wonderful prayers and well wishes! They brighten my days no end, and give me so many reasons to smile!!!