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What's the funniest thing you've seen or heard at faire?

Started by Valiss, October 09, 2009, 02:40:22 PM

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Seamus Ex Machina

#15
October 13, 2009, 08:50:47 PM
Several seasons ago. the Sarasota Medieval Festival was held at a family run farm out in the sticks.   It was a nice site, run by well meaning people....but the site owners did not believe in serving beer or mead.   

Strike one.  We slid a flask in the boot and pressed on bravely.

One of the 'attractions' was a donkey, vividly painted in zebra stripes, and roped to a metal folding chair.   The sign above said 'Donk-Zee'.   The poor thing looked like would die of embarrassment.  We tried not to stare.  I wondered how long he could stand it.

As the day wore on, and got hotter, 'Donk-Zee' had had enough.   We heard a loud, pained hee haaaww and we knew.   The braying got louder,  angrier, and more insistent.  Then it got closer, and the sound of panicky Rennies scattering.   And metal clanging.  Donk-Zee was in full charge, braying up a storm, dodging people trying to grab him, with the metal folding chair flailing behind him, taking out tents, merch and any fool that got close enough.   

And then that little SOB headed right towards me.

With what I thought was tremendous presence of mind, I waited, then sidestepped.  Ole!  I hopped on the chair, believing it would bring him to a full stop.    It slowed him down, but that day, dear friends, was the day that Donkey Surfing was born!



Legendary Hellraiser

renren

#16
October 13, 2009, 09:33:35 PM
 :o
Man! I wish I could've seen that! Bet it was even funnier in person!!ROTF!!
Renren
Wench  #  3783
Treasure Guardian and giggling interrogator of the "Feisty Lady"

Guppy # 32 ROoL

Athena

#17
October 14, 2009, 10:06:25 AM
OMG, Seamus! LMAO! What I wouldn't do to see that on YouTube!  ;D
A book is like a garden carried in the pocket. ~ Chinese Proverb

Lady Renee Buchanan

#18
October 14, 2009, 06:09:18 PM
I think the funniest thing was during a rainstorm at RenDezvous in 2007, when 2 soaking wet Scots (to remain nameless) standing out in the rain, showed everyone in the tent what really was under their kilts. 

Besides the fact that nobody could quite believe they did it, there were 4 teenagers, 2 couples about 15 or 16 years old, who were dumbfounded.  The look on their faces was something I'll never forget.  A cross between shock, incredibility, and mortification.  When the rain let up enough that they wouldn't get deluged, they high tailed it out of there as fast as they could.
A real Surf Diva
Landshark who loves water
Chieftesse Surf'n Penny of Clan O'Siodhachain,
Irish Penny Brigade
Giver of Big Hugs 
Member since the beginning of RF
All will be well. St. Julian of Norwich

Seamus Ex Machina

#19
October 14, 2009, 06:20:06 PM
Ya wanna see something else on YouTube...?  ;)

'Course, that's a mental image I'll never lose...the donkey charging down the lane, panic and devastation in his wake,  people jumping and running out of the way of the metal chair/weapon,  the crazed look in the animal's eyes....

I mean, you've seen Blue in action..... ;)
Legendary Hellraiser

lady M

#20
October 16, 2009, 04:42:55 PM
Ok, this happen a few years back. TRF family campground. It was about 10pm and 2 of my sons were walking with me to the portaloo. There was no wait but there were a few people standing by talking waiting for someone to come out. I stepped in to do my business. All of the sudden in a man's voice we heard a big sigh of relief then he said "all is good." Everyone started laughing. Now when the boys and I go to the portaloo when they're done they said "all is good." The things children pick up.

Tipsy Gypsy

#21
October 16, 2009, 06:59:50 PM
Quote from: Seamus Ex Machina on October 13, 2009, 08:50:47 PM... that day, dear friends, was the day that Donkey Surfing was born!

If that ain't a perfect Quote of the Day, I don't know what is!!!
"It's just water, officer, I swear. And yeast. And a little honey. How the alcohol got in, I have no idea!"

mehan

#22
October 17, 2009, 03:57:59 AM
Several years back, strolling the lane at ORF, I overheard  "30 pound maraschino cherry" - to this day I have wondered what the rest of the conversation was about.....

Now, though, if I hear "donkey surfing" at least I won't have to wonder.

RenMomma

#23
October 17, 2009, 04:36:51 PM
Last weekend was Highland Fling weekend at OHRF, and we have Leonardo DaVinci as a street Character.

He has a trebuchet that he built and the premise is that the Lord Mayor has insomnia, so he hired a young and little known DaVinci to launch sheep over the Mayoral manor so that the Mayor can count them. So he had some stuffed sheep and was launching them outside of our booth to test it out. I yelled "Sheep in the hole!" As opposed to "fire in the hole" which DaVinci would usually shout when he sets our morning canon off. The rest of the Day DaVinci would launch sheep yelling "Sheep in the hole!" which sounded really, REALLY dirty, especially considering all the Scots wandering about the village...but it made me giggle every time!
Kim (and Wee C. too!)

KeeperoftheBar

#24
October 19, 2009, 07:08:38 AM
We were at TRF the other day sitting in front of the Prince of Wales Pub watching the world walk by.  As several mundanes went past, one young lady exclaimed that she was tired of being carded and was going to have her ID tattooed on her weed puller. 
Landshark # 97
Member, Phoenix Risen

Tipsy Gypsy

#25
October 19, 2009, 07:15:36 AM
Quote from: KeeperoftheBar on October 19, 2009, 07:08:38 AM
We were at TRF the other day sitting in front of the Prince of Wales Pub watching the world walk by.  As several mundanes went past, one young lady exclaimed that she was tired of being carded and was going to have her ID tattooed on her weed puller. 

She'll miss being carded when they stop doing it... :)
"It's just water, officer, I swear. And yeast. And a little honey. How the alcohol got in, I have no idea!"

Var Greyshadow

#26
October 20, 2009, 06:57:49 AM
Quote from: KeeperoftheBar on October 19, 2009, 07:08:38 AM
We were at TRF the other day sitting in front of the Prince of Wales Pub watching the world walk by.  As several mundanes went past, one young lady exclaimed that she was tired of being carded and was going to have her ID tattooed on her weed puller. 

The next thing we heard was one of the guys that was with her saying, "Hey!  It's expired!". 
"All that is gold does not glitter; Not all those who wander are lost..." ~J.R.R. Tolkien "The Fellowship of the Ring"

SirRichardBear

#27
October 20, 2009, 09:54:14 AM
Closing weekend of Scarby last season a young boy around 15 or so was wearing his kilt wrong.  totaly wrong he not only had the left over the right but had the pleading in front.  When I told him that his kilt was on backwards he said it was OK because no one would know which way was which and then walked off.  I still don't know if he understand were he was, was just to lazy to fix it or making some type of teenage statement.  But it was funny watching him walk away in the rain with this kilt on backwards and reversed.
Beware of him that is slow to anger: He is angry for something, and will not be pleased for nothing.
Benjamin Franklin

NoBill Lurker

#28
October 22, 2009, 08:28:04 PM
Quote from: Seamus Ex Machina on October 13, 2009, 08:50:47 PM
Several seasons ago. the Sarasota Medieval Festival was held at a family run farm out in the sticks.   It was a nice site, run by well meaning people....but the site owners did not believe in serving beer or mead.   

Strike one.  We slid a flask in the boot and pressed on bravely.

One of the 'attractions' was a donkey, vividly painted in zebra stripes, and roped to a metal folding chair.   The sign above said 'Donk-Zee'.   The poor thing looked like would die of embarrassment.  We tried not to stare.  I wondered how long he could stand it.

As the day wore on, and got hotter, 'Donk-Zee' had had enough.   We heard a loud, pained hee haaaww and we knew.   The braying got louder,  angrier, and more insistent.  Then it got closer, and the sound of panicky Rennies scattering.   And metal clanging.  Donk-Zee was in full charge, braying up a storm, dodging people trying to grab him, with the metal folding chair flailing behind him, taking out tents, merch and any fool that got close enough.   

And then that little SOB headed right towards me.

With what I thought was tremendous presence of mind, I waited, then sidestepped.  Ole!  I hopped on the chair, believing it would bring him to a full stop.    It slowed him down, but that day, dear friends, was the day that Donkey Surfing was born!





Painting donkeys to look like a zebra, not as rare as first thought!  ;D
So what are you doing this weekend?
I'm going to BARF!!!
You're going to...wait...WHAT???

LadySeasan

#29
October 22, 2009, 11:02:00 PM
During Rendezvous this year I came out of the potty area and was adjusting my bodice, and a little boy of about 6 pointed at me with wide eyes and said

"Dad...her boobs, are like chocolate pillows!"

needles to say the dad was embarrassed and told the son not to say that, and little boy replied

"but it's true!!!"
Clan M'Crack-Season M'Crack
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