Child behavior help

[Celtic_Fae]

I'm just so worried, because he's wicked smart. His reading is phenomenal, and his comprehension is out of this world. I'd rather see us find some way to center him by meditation, or reward systems for good behavior.

Exactly, Blue. How sad that being smart has become such a crime, to be doped up as a quick fix. Yes, in certain cases meds are needed for certain issues, but being smart is not an illness---the issues (boredom by finishing so early, easily distractible by being able to fully consider multiple things at once, not being able to connect with peers, etc.) just need to be dealt with in an appropriate manner. Meditation is a great idea. Reward systems that a brighter kid enjoys are great, too. The idea of having him help out around the classroom would be a good way to channel excess energy: make it a game to see how fast he can get the board erased, etc.

[KeeperoftheBar]

Being that I am older and do not have children, my solution is simple...beat them.  I was spanked as needed and have never spent a day in jail.  When I was a kid, teachers could spank misbehaving students who would get another one from their parents when they got home.  (Ahhh the good old days).  I'm not suggesting giving bruises, welts, scars, cuts or marks, but the minor pain and shame of a little pop on the fanny can help.

Of course, what do I know...I also want to bring back the pillory in the public square for minor criminal  wrongs as well as nonlethal dueling for civil disputes.

[Julianne]

I encourage you to start with the school counselor first.  Behavior modification, in my opinion, is the first route to explore.

I would also ask what is going on at school that may be upsetting to your wee one.  Is there another student that is picking on him or in someway upsets him?  Since you indicate that he is fine at home then I would look at the venue where the behavior is unacceptable...school.

Is there more then one class of his grade?  If so, consider requesting to move him into the other classroom.  Sometimes there can be a teacher/student personality conflict.  A new atmosphere may change his behavior too.

Keep steady Trill....many of us have been there and it'll eventually get better dear.

[Hoowil]

I'd say check with the councilor, your pediatritian, the teacher, and most importantly your son about whats going on. There may be something about the particular teacher. It may be something thats getting more and more common around here, where to 'increase instructionaL time' they are cutting recess, causingchildren to get antsy. It may be, as others have said, especially if he is doing well, that he really is simply bored (regardless of what the teacher says). Sadly to say, not knowing the situation, he could be looking for help or attention about something else, and simply sees being the focus of attention as a start. Personally, I think our society's growing reliance on medication for just about anything is disgusting. I spent years on various meds for bi-polar disorder, and can truely say I know that they can at times be necassary. But as the doctor I dealt with told me, meds should always be a last choice, used minimally, and just as a tool to get focused enough for other methods to have a chance. 6 year olds by nature should be hyper, and with short attention spans. He's a LITTLE KID! Make sure there isn't something wrong, but let him be a kid. Its the only time he can be.

[LadyShadow]

My boys both did that at school.  And actually I am fighting one of them with that right now.  They are great at home, do their school work, actually are making straight A's but have a lil conduct problem at school.  I changed one of my kids teachers and that worked for him, where as the other one just had a seat change and that worked for him.  I'm one who doesnt think medicine is always the reason.  I know in our house when the kids act like that there is something wrong with school/teacher/class/classmates that they wont tell you about.  Best of luck though.

[knarlyknot]

You might also have himn tested for food allergies.  I have a friend who was going through this same thing with her child, apparently his allergies to some foods was basically like giving him speed, had the same effect.  He's now on a gluten free diet and doing great.

[Trillium]

I called the counselor and the doctor today and didn't hear back from either.  GGRRRR....  However the receptionist at the doctor said she was mailing a behavior packet that has information and a tracking sheet for us and his teacher.  She said that if the doctor feels the need for a behavior appointment, he will want that information collected first.  So at least we have a start.  Thankfully I know that his doctor is not one to immediately resort to meds and he is a pediatric professor at the local educational hospital.

My boy was in trouble again today, talking in class, not staying still...  Thankfully, he isn't violent (with the exception of the occasional fit) just distracted and talkative.  I asked if he liked his class, the teacher, the kids...he said yes.  He hasn't mentioned being picked on, he did tell me that a few times last year in kindergarten.  I suspect he may be bored.  He breezes right through the books and spelling words they send home.  I also think he is struggling against the structure, he doesn't really have to deal with that at home.

Hoowil, I feel the same as you about meds.  I don't take anything unless its absolutely necessary and I try to do the same with my family.  There are times when it is necessary and just don't know if this is it.  Hopefully we'll get something figured out.

[Trillium]

Just wanted to give you all an update.  I spoke with his doctor and he does feel it is ADD but still needs to do his assessment.  We got the questionnaires filled out and returned but the doctor is out recovering from back surgery and we want to wait for him to return instead of dealing with a different doctor.  Also, the school counselor put the boy on a different behavior system where he is graded/reminded/rewarded by the hour instead of a one strike and your out approach.  It's done wonders.  He's has greens most days since and we are very proud of him.  We also think not allowing him to go to TRF the day I went and standing our ground had an effect also (I'll admit we almost caved in!).

[raevyncait]

Ask the doctor about having him tested for food allergies as well. 
I have a friend whose son was constantly fidgeting, didn't pay attention in class, and couldn't stay focused. Before she agreed to medicate him, she insisted on allergy testing.  The results included a yeast allergy (made his little behind itch, no wonder he couldn't sit still in class); a sugar sensitivity, and a SEVERE apple allergy (within 5 minutes of the test for apples he was literally WILD in the doctor's office, running around like a maniac and turning cartwheels), among other milder allergies.  They adjusted his diet, and he quickly realized (even at 8 years old) that he FELT better when he avoided the allergens, and that he didn't like the person he was when he had something he was allergic to (such as half of a frozen fruit pop, which is apple juice based). The allergy information didn't cure all of his problems, as he is also severely dyslexic and has a couple of other issues, but it made a HUGE improvement.

[Betty Munro]

I feel your pain.  I have a wee male one myself, and he is never still for more than 5 minutes at a time.  He does not do well in school.  It is not an easy solution, but home school has terminated the teacher's complaints.  He learns in 5 minute segments, and we play a LOT of physical learning games.  Some children do not do well in the public school system that requires them to sit down and be quiet.  What was done before Ridalin?   We are first and foremost intelligent animals ... designed to be active participants in life, and men/boys are hard wired for hunting/gathering, the better they were at providing, the more likely they were to pass on their genes.  The point is, your son is normal, and it is more likely that the school staff just doesn't know how to deal with him.  Since 90% of little kids can be fairly easily controlled, the 10% that can't must be drugged into submission.
I hope you find a solution that works for you and your wee one.

[renren]

Glad to hear things are improving, 6 can be a difficult age,IMO!
Wish you the best of luck, Trillium!

And, if what the doc says doesn't sound right, follow you mamma instincts! Nothing wrong with 2nd opinions!

[Seamus Ex Machina]

OK, this is not a recommendation.......

All seriousness aside, you've gotta give props to NORML.   Apparently, they'll try anything......


http://www.nydailynews.com/lifestyle/health/2009/11/25/2009-11-25_kids_with_adhd_prescribed_medical_marjiuana_in_california.html

[Sitara]

I have a 6 year old too and I feel for you. Hope everything works its self out. 

Remember what doctors diagnose doesn't mean you have to administer

That is not necessarily true.  We were threatened with Jamison being pulled out of school and us charged with child neglect if we did not start giving him pills.  He took them for about 2 1/2 years and we finally got them to agree to take him off of the meds as he is starting puberty.

[SirRichardBear]

have you looked into a martial arts class?  Some times it as simple as the kid not getting enough physical exercise.  I have a couple of ADD students I put them through heavy exercise pushups, sit ups, jumping jacks and lots of kicking and punching for half and hour or so then I can teach them forms and techques etc.

[Trillium]

We would love some sort of extra curricular activity but right now time and especially money doesn't allow for it.  The top contenders are martial arts and soccer.  Perhaps once I find a permanent job we'll be able to do something...