Author Topic: ....I think I've been insulted  (Read 4006 times)

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Offline Butch

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Re: ....I think I've been insulted
« Reply #15 on: May 02, 2010, 05:12:10 PM »
Lady Neysa, I do see your point, but if the girl lives at home as an adult, there are undoubtedly rules imposed that the girl doesn't want to break which may result in a loss of some benefits (i.e. a place to stay, food to eat, support while at college).  That's what I see.  The girl needs to choose her battles.

But, the parents should also realize she's not a kid anymore, and any rules/stipulations should be ones for an adult.  Again, as I posted earlier, the parents need to realize that they may be alienating their daughter.

Offline Becky10

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Re: ....I think I've been insulted
« Reply #16 on: May 02, 2010, 05:18:59 PM »
She'll be 18 next week and is probably one of the best daughters out there; she has never done anything that they would  disapprove of, has kept good grades, seldom stays out late, doesnt go to parties ect.
Which is part of the reason why I think this was such a big deal for her mom because she is used to her daughter basically living the same life as her and this is something she would never do.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on

Offline justsomeguytn

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Re: ....I think I've been insulted
« Reply #17 on: May 03, 2010, 08:33:06 AM »
Wizard's First Rule:
People are stupid
They will believe something because they want it to be true or they're afraid it might be true.
(Thank you Terry Goodkind)

What I think you have here with the parents is a little of both parts of the rule.  They don't know anything about faire.  Since they're such pathetic knuckle dragging morons they fear anything they don't know about.  Because they don't want to see themselves as pathetic knuckle dragging morons, they want any validation of their belief that "Faire == BAD".  At the same time they are afraid of their daughter not being a carbon copy of them and you might stop that by "corrupting" her.  They want their daughter to be exactly like them because in their tiny, stunted, disease ridden minds "Me == PERFECT".  Unless you can tie them up and drag them to faire and make them sit and watch the non bawdy shows while chalenging them the whole time to prove their belief, I don't think you'll ever convince them.  I feel very sorry for the daughter.  It's going to be really tough on her.  I wouldn't be suprised if she has had problems having a boyfriend with those kind of parents around.

To sum it up Becky, yes you've been insulted.  In fact we all have.  Those parents are no less bigoted and ignorant than a KKK member or Fred Phelps himself.
« Last Edit: May 03, 2010, 08:35:46 AM by justsomeguytn »

Offline Laird Fraser of Lovatt

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Re: ....I think I've been insulted
« Reply #18 on: May 03, 2010, 09:35:42 AM »
While not as extreme as justsomeguytn, i do believe he does have the right of it.  Closed minded people are the hardest to get through to... like mainstream America reacting to "hippies" during the late 60's.  If a small window could be opened into the darkened recesses of their minds, they'd see a diverse group of people doing something that they love/need... escaping the turmoil of their mundane day to day lives. 


I'm a bit consevative but i also have an open mind... best of both worlds, i guess.  ;)   
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Offline will paisley

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Re: ....I think I've been insulted
« Reply #19 on: May 03, 2010, 11:44:24 AM »
Wizard's First Rule:
People are stupid
They will believe something because they want it to be true or they're afraid it might be true.
(Thank you Terry Goodkind)

What I think you have here with the parents is a little of both parts of the rule.  They don't know anything about faire.  Since they're such pathetic knuckle dragging morons they fear anything they don't know about.  Because they don't want to see themselves as pathetic knuckle dragging morons, they want any validation of their belief that "Faire == BAD".  At the same time they are afraid of their daughter not being a carbon copy of them and you might stop that by "corrupting" her.  They want their daughter to be exactly like them because in their tiny, stunted, disease ridden minds "Me == PERFECT".  

You know, you really need to work on coming out of your shell so you can express yourself and tell people how you really feel.  ;D

Unless you can tie them up and drag them to faire and make them sit and watch the non bawdy shows while challenging them the whole time to prove their belief, I don't think you'll ever convince them.  

Sadly, I doubt that would even have an effect.  You saw how she showed up in non-revealing garb and the mother fled up the stairs.  Dragging them to faire tied up would probably result in a similar denial of reality.  As rapier Half-Wit said:

Unfortunitly CaptFletcher, truth and facts be @#$%ed, people are going to believe what they want to believe. Whether the facts support it or not.

A fact that I've learned about the human race (in general) is that we make decisions based on emotion and then use logic to justify it. Whether we are talking about sheets and towels or politics and religion or renaissance festivals. When they decide to change their minds, they will. And not a second sooner.

The only bit I'd add is that I haven't even seen logic used for justification all that often. 
Minstrel, Interrupted, Bard #400 (CD)
Faire Name: "Flo's Husband"
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Offline LadyStitch

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Re: ....I think I've been insulted
« Reply #20 on: May 03, 2010, 12:33:23 PM »
i have been fighting my brother to see things my way for years.  Soon as he heard I did theater he thought I was going out every night to wild parties and doing all kinds of illegal things.  Please,  if you knew half the people I do in theater, soon as you tried to do something illegal we would all bail on your and could be blackballed.  When you make your living on your reputation you don't want to muck it up. 

A couple years ago I offered to PAY for my brother to drive down to our house, then go with us to TRF.  An essencially free weekend on me, if he would just come camping with us at TRF.  No dice, his rationel was "There will be drinking there." and "Bad things will be going on." Our camp is relatively a sedate one, as we are typically made up of older adults. However if you want to go adventuring to other camps I'm sure you will find the loki flowing.  What bugs me so much is that he would go to  a NASCAR event where there is more alcohol pouring per camp, and  you hang out with truckdrivers who tell some of the dirtiest jokes I've ever heard, yet you won't go to a faire.  It floors me.

My parents on the other hand love it.  My mum is a big crafts person and loves the stuff I bring home for her.  My dad is badly physically challanged, and adores the DVD's I bring back to him.  He says it reminds him of all the old vaudville acts he use to see when he was little.  Their only rule was "Don't do something stupid." 

When someone is entrenched in their belifes they don't want to see the facts in front of them, only what they want to see.  I wish you luck.
It is kind of strange watching your personal history become costume.

Offline analise

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Re: ....I think I've been insulted
« Reply #21 on: May 03, 2010, 02:23:14 PM »
LadyStitch,

You can pay for me to go to TRF instead. :)

Offline justsomeguytn

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Re: ....I think I've been insulted
« Reply #22 on: May 03, 2010, 02:24:32 PM »
LadyStitch, tell me about it.  I actually live effectively behind a NASCAR track.  Two of my neighbors actually rent out their townhouses to families visiting for the race a couple of weekends every year.  Personally I can't stand NASCAR.  But I know when a race is coming up because the isles at the local supermarket get six feet longer due to the three feet deep beer stacked at each end.  They bring in so much beer that they stack the produce on top.  By the end of the weekend all that beer is gone.

I have never even heard of something like that with a faire.

Offline DonaCatalina

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Re: ....I think I've been insulted
« Reply #23 on: May 03, 2010, 02:35:17 PM »

 She has this idea that I am a moral corrupter and  I have been blamed for choices that her daughter makes that I usually find out afterwards. She has known me for 7 years an yet this is what she thinks of me? I understand its a parents right to put limitations on some of their child's actions but she doesn't have the right to use me as a scapegoat because she doesn't like that he daughter is growing up. Shes going to college for pete's sake.

  Am I crazy for feeling kind of insulted that she would believe that I would dress myself and her daughter in a suggestive manner? I did not expect this to upset me as much as it has but it has and now I am debating going garbed cause i now feel self conscious and i will not go in her house when I go to  pick her up because I will not be able to stand having to talk to her mom while she gives me the up and down.
 
You can run up against the common problem of parents who believe their child can do no wrong except when some evil person leads them into bad decisions. About all you can do is make the best of it and don't take it personally since its really NOT about you.
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Offline Lady Lil

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Re: ....I think I've been insulted
« Reply #24 on: May 04, 2010, 09:11:19 PM »
You mut be a really good friend to care so much. You have a great attitude that I admire. Keep your chin up, good things happen to good people. 

Offline Merlin the Elder

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Re: ....I think I've been insulted
« Reply #25 on: May 08, 2010, 01:28:00 PM »
Wizard's First Rule:
People are stupid
They will believe something because they want it to be true or they're afraid it might be true.....

Hey! I was going to say that! It's my rule!  ;)

I think I'm in a better position than you because I'm so old, I don't care if someone doesn't approve of what I say and do.  Best thing for you to do is to go on to the faire, meet some new folks that DO share your enjoyment of it. You'll be happier for it!
Living life in the slow lane
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I've upped my standards. Now, up yours.
...and may all your babies be born naked...

 

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