Child behavior help

[Trillium]

I'm at wits end and need some advice.  My son is 6 and is in trouble everyday at school.  Not paying attention, not doing what he's told, not staying still, playing with his school supplies, throwing fits...  We have taken everything away, no computer, no tv, no movies, no toys, etc...  In fact no faire this weekend because of he keeps getting in trouble.  He does his homework, eats dinner, writes lines, and goes to bed early.  I'm going to call the school counselor tomorrow and his pediatrician.  I'm so worried that will want to just put him on meds.  We don't want him on ridilin (which I'm betting they will suggest), he behaves well enough at home, but I just don't know what else to do.  This stress, on top of my job situation, is tearing us apart.

Any suggestions?

[Anna Iram]

Trill, a simple thing, but I always hear that sometimes children who don't pay attention might have a problem with eyesight, so that's something to check. Perhaps also, since he's doing fine at home, it's that he feels out of place at school and is unhappy with being there. He's an only child and used to getting all your attention? Have you talked to him about how he fels about his classroom, teacher, classmates etc.? Things to consider anyway.

[sealion]

Is he one of a few boys in a classroom full of girls with a teacher who has no patience for fidgety little boys? And/or is he an extremely bright boy who is bored to tears and finding inappropriate ways to entertain himself? BTDT I ran into both problems with my son (who is now 25 and reasonable well adjusted lol). Putting him in a different classroom with a teacher who doesn't expect 6 year olds to sit still all day or giving him some enrichment activites to do when he finishes his work but has to wait for the rest of the class to catch up are some things that worked for us. Checking with the pediatrician to make sure that he doesn't have ADHD is still a good idea and, if he does, there are medications other than Ritalin to consider.

[Lady Amy of York]

Is he a smart child perhaps ? Does he  finish his  schoolwork  before the  other kids  ?     I ask because   from my experience  in teaching  and  working  with  kids,  I have  seen  this happen  with kids  who are very smart  for  their  age.  They finish  their schoolwork  way ahead of  the other kids in class  and  they get bored, or  they are bored   with  the schoolwork  the teacher is teaching cause  they already know  it.  
    One suggestion is  to ask  the teacher  to give him extra  schoolwork.

     Other one  would be  to have his IQ  tested. he  may be  bored  at  the grade level he is at, and  may nedd to advance  a level.

    Other idea is  to ask  the teacher  to have him  help her/him  around  the  classroom, by maybe  erasing  the  chalkboards,  cleaning erasers, etc...to get his  extra  energy  out.


Also some of his behavior  is  very typical of  a  six year old  boy. I have  a six  year old  son who I  homeschool every  day, and  their  are  days  that i  struggle  to keep his  attention  while  we are  doing schoolwork.

another thought i have..have  you had  his  vision  and  hearing  checked? Can he  hear  the teacher  and  see  the blackboard  okay ? If  not  this  maybe  causing him fustration  and  causing him  to act out  in  class.

Remember you are his parent. you have  the  right  to say no, to having  them  put him on riddlin. I have  seen  to many   kids  put on  it  when it is  not  necessary  at all.


Good  luck  to  you. It is  not always  easy  being  aparent.  My  mother always  says"  The  first  20  years  are  the  hardest." Keep us  posted  on how  he  does  !

[Trillium]

i haven't noticed any problems with his eyes.  I've worn glasses since I was 12 and come from a family of glasses wearers, so I know the signs!    He is an only child but doesn't act up as much as home, but he also doesn't have as much of a strict environment as home.  He hasn't said much about his teacher or the other kids when I ask but says he likes it.  He's always excited about the new things he has learned.  I asked his teacher once if she thought maybe he wasn't challenged enough and was distracted but she said no. I know being fidgity and distracted is normal but at what point is it abnormal?  We had a lot of these same problems last year in kindergarten.

[Seamus Ex Machina]

Try Ritalin..


I know.  We had two ADHD kids, and a small  dose of Ritalin helped immensely.   5 mg in the morning, with a cup of coffee, no sugar, worked wonders.   Now, this is not the only piece of the puzzle...keep an eye on his diet and exercise.   NO sugar, and easy on the carbs, and fruit. Monitor what he eats after 6 p.m., as anything else will disturb his sleep pattern.  Does he sleep thru the night or is he a wandering kid at 11 p.m.?  He will still require attention,  and discipline still needs to be enforced.   Constant contact with teacher, principal and doctor is also a huge must.

The bugaboo with Ritalin is that in the 70's they overdosed the little darlings...They went through the day on wheels, stoned out of their minds.  Ritalin is not a dirty word, and a small dose will do a world of good.  Take it from some one who had three kids.... my step son, Shawn, could hardly function in school till Red took him the doctor. He then referred her to a shrink, who put Shawn thru some tests, and determined he needed a small amount.  The doctor monitored Shawn, taking blood and weight once a month, making sure he was not overdosed.  The difference was significant, and Shawn went from F student in first grade, to honor roll in second grade.  

Please RenMail me if you wish to converse further.   Please do not dismiss Ritalin out of hand; it is only part of a larger solution.

[Taffy Saltwater]

As the mother of ADHD child, now an ADHD adult, I can only echo Seamus.  Ritalin, or some other med, may be a world of help.  It helped my son get through grade school.  After that he dug in his heels and did a big fat goose egg until he finally dropped out.  He did go back & get a GED.  He was hell on wheels in school, starting in Pre-K. 

[Trillium]

He sleeps through the night, it was a fight to get him there...he used to get up in the middle of the night and come to our room.  He is an energizer bunny...just keeps going...and we don't give him much sugar.  He rarely drinks soda, just very occasional root beer or sprite on special occasions, mostly drinks water or milk.  If he is good, he is allowed a treat - piece of candy, popcicle, etc...  He does good on his schoolwork.  He just tends to get distracted easily.  Like "Ohh something shiney" easily.  

I think our main fear of the psych meds is that we both worked in a psych hospital and have seen the effects of too much meds.  We know what kinds of contraindications can come from them and the effects they can have through your entire life, but we also know the good effects that can come from it.  It's just a scary decision...

[Zaubon]

Something very simple that has hit a lot of kids. What does he have for breakfast? Do you take the time to cook a tradional breakfast with meat, dairy and starch, or do you give him a bowl of ceral that's packed full of sugar that makes him hyper half the day and then lets him crash?

[Trillium]

If I have time and he's hungry it's a fruit bar or a piece of fruit normally, then he may eat something else at daycare before they take him to school.  We have to leave the house at 6:20 in the morning and it's a stretch to make that deadline.  He doesn't get to school until just before 8.  With my hubby being diabetic, I try not to keep too much of any types of sweets around the house.

[Taffy Saltwater]

Fruit digests as sugar.  Oatmeal - the unflavored kind - would give him a good base.  Or some cheese or hard-boiled eggs are a good travel snack.

[Sir William Marcus]

 I have a 6 year old too and I feel for you. Hope everything works its self out. 

Remember what doctors diagnose doesn't mean you have to administer

[SleepyArcher]

We had that issue last year with our son. He just turned 5 in August and we put him in Kindergarten. He had trouble from the start. Every week we were getting calls from the school. Running out of the classroom, throwing fits and ripping up papers, even hiding in his cubby. We thought we put him in too early but they kept reassuring us that it was going to be OK. By the end of the year they wanted to label him EBD (emotional behavioral disorder) and we said no way! We got him into counseling and had him tested for ADHD but he wasn't even close to it on paper. Well we held him back and had him repeat Kindergarten and he is having a great year this year.
I don't know if he is in K or 1st grade but it may be anxiety of being at school. Or he may need to have stricter rules at school. They just wanted to pass our kid off and not evenreally help him so thisyear we put him in a private school and he is doing so much better.I really think public schools are all about money and not really helping kids these days. Our son is just fine at home too. But this year he really loves school and we have had no problems yet. It may be you just need to hold him back and little boys are not mature enough sometimes at 5/6 yrs old for school.
Good luck.

[Anna Iram]

A good fast breakfast can also be peanut butter or even better, almond butter on a good whole grain toast with a touch of low sugar jam or honey. It's easy, travels well and I eat it alot when I need breakfast and don't want to cook.

[Blue66669]

My Brinson is going through the same thing right now. He's throwing fits and not finishing his work, and insisting on doing enrichment instead of his work. I'm lucky that we're only having an issue once a week or every two. I'm just so worried, because he's wicked smart. His reading is phenomenal, and his comprehension is out of this world. We just took him out of private school, and he's trying to get adjusted. I'm not one for doping my kiddos, I'd rather see us find some way to center him by meditation, or reward systems for good behavior.