for those who sew for and "help" other sew

[ladyharrogate]

I have a touchy question that I am in need of advice on.  I am a professional costumer, working both for myself and for theaters costuming and stitching for shows.  This is my livelyhood and I'm pretty good at what I do.  Recently however I've run into a bit of a problem.  While I am "very" reasonable on my prices many of the people needing costuming still find it too expensive for their tastes.  So, they decide to make their own garb, which I encourage and think is a wonderful thing.

Just this week I've gotten several calls from people wanting help.  One called and asked me to go fabric shopping with her and when I asked what she was needing so I could schedule her in my book and block out time to work on her piece she promptly replied, "oh, I don't want you to make it, I just need you to show me how to make it and help me". 

This is happening a lot and I really do want to help people with costumes.  I'm always happy to give tips or if a group of us are going to a fabric store I don't mind helping with pattern and fabric suggestions.  However, I am very busy with my work and if I take time to "help" people make their costumes I often find myself spending more time than if I had just made it myself, not to mention the frustration of trying to teach novice stitchers the very basics (imagine someone who has no concept of garment construction wanting something made that there is not even a pattern for).

Is it wrong for me to tell them I charge for this service?  I honestly feel that if I do not I will be taking away from my paying customers who are expecting the high quality, well researched garments I try to make.  When I take time out to "help" people who don't want to pay my for custom pieces I have less time to make my costumers garments and end up having to do things like ship next day air or rush to finish a job.

What do you guys think?  I'd love to know from both fellow customers and also those who are in the position of just wanting a hand with making their own costuming.  I feel a bit odd charging for this but I just can't keep wearing myself out "helping" people!

Thanks,
Angela Harris
Lady Harrogate of Fairehaven

[gem]

Speaking for myself, I would *kill* to have a friend who sewed. But if said friend did so *professionally,* I would feel incredibly awkward imposing on her time. (I often feel incredibly awkward imposing on people, though, so I would never, ever be ballsy enough to ask someone a "favor" like that!).

From another perspective, however... I'm a full-time writer (published novelist, etc). In the writing community, it's very common to have relationships with other writers where you read and critique each other's work, and it's definitely not uncommon to mentor other writers who are not as far along in their careers (ie, unpublished ones). Critiquing a full novel manuscript, not to mention meeting with the other writers to discuss our work (not to mention the travel time, as I live in a large metro area and it takes a good hour to make a round trip pretty much anywhere), DEFINITELY takes away from my work day, and there are times I can't participate. I also have a critique partner who has become a professional editor, so she now charges clients for what we typically do for each other, for free.  A couple of months ago, I asked if she'd have time to review a manuscript for me, on a very tight schedule. I *begged* her to let me pay her, but she just said, "We're critique partners. You'll return the favor for me someday." 

All of that said, outside the circle of those close relationships, no, I wouldn't be in a position to be able to critique a manuscript for someone I did not know well, without some kind of compensation (and generally I simply say I don't have the time, because that is the truth).

Nothing in the universe REQUIRES you to help people--or even to *want* to help them. I don't think most people would ever ask a friend who owned a landscaping business to prune their trees for free (or maybe they would), or expect to eat for free in a friend's restaurant... or ask that friend for cooking lessons. Or expect a doctor friend to come treat them at home when they're sick.

Good luck with this! To save yourself some sanity, you might take a few minutes to put together some quick resources for people who ask you for help: local costuming guilds or sewing lessons, stores with good customer service, websites like this, etc.

[ladyharrogate]

thank you Gem.  I think that offering resources is a fantastic idea and something I can even do from my website.  I do have a few friends that I help and they also try to help me out with the things they can do, like one who sewed some buttons while I helped her.  I don't mind that so much.

One of the things I love about the boards is how everyone helps each other.  I've often responded with ideas or techniques that I've found work, etc.  I don't look at that as being a bad thing, it's just, like you say, there are not enough hours in the day to do it all.

[LadyShadow]

I feel bad that this is coming to your door.  But I agree with Gem.  Best of luck.

[bellalye]

I have definitely felt the negative side of this question before, not for sewing per se, but for another aspect of costuming (wing making).  My advice would be to help, yes, but to restrict your help to tips and suggestions.  Also, steer away from aiding those or sharing techniques you developed if the person you would help intends to sell.  I myself unintentionally threw away my position in an isolated market by helping someone in this way (I was unaware of their intent at the time).  There is definitely a difference between helping (which I think of as friendly and as an easy favor) and working/consulting.  As a professional, it's your right to charge a fee for the use of your hard-earned knowledge and skill, whether that be for sewing or sharing your knowledge (after all, isn't this why teachers and college professors are paid?)

*climbs off soapbox*

You are worth it!

toodles!  

[flidais]

First I'd like to say how wonderful you are to be the type of person who even cares to take time out of your busy life to help others.  I think that's a fantastic thing.

I do sew garb, and I have friends ask me to help them and I always enjoy doing it.  But they are good friends, and at some point in my life they all help me out in some way.  So it's kinda like bartering if you wanted to put it into that sort of context.  But I think if I started having allot of other people asking for help, I'd have to approach it differently.  Perhaps you could offer some workshops.  Starting with some basic sewing classes.  Where you can help several people at one time, make a little money and not have it take up too much of your time.  When I started making my garb, I paid $50 for a day long garb workshop, and it was well worth it.  We all already knew how to sew, but she taught us how to make cute little buttons, showed us allot of really great embellishment tips and tricks, let us copy a hat pattern she had drafted and a caul pattern, and then we all went fabric shopping after eating pizza.   So I think that helping when you can is great, but if this is your livelyhood and it's taking away from you being able to do your job, I do not think it's out of line to either ask for compensation or to try and compress all of your "helping" together to make it a little less time consuming.
Hope everything works out great!

[Lady Isabella]

My two sense:
The info here is free, use it. This is how we help each other. Its fun.
For the professional, like you, charge baby charge.

I own a Collision repair shop. I fix cars to make money, not friends.
It's how I pay the bills.

Hope that did not come off Bitchy.

[Lady Kathleen of Olmsted]

Because I too sew for a living doing Custom Commissions and Alterations, I have been asked at times to do my services for FREE. I charge a minimum fee when someone needs my help on something who is making their own costumes or garb. When I do one on one instruction, again, I charge a nominal fee.

Because I have a Price I charge per hour to clients, when doing business with Theatres, Churches, and other Business entities, I have a Business rate I charge per hour that is fair. If the client is a family member or very close to me, I charge the "Family Rate". I won't do much for FREE. One you do something for someone for FREE, then everyone will want you to do things for them  for free. Word gets around.

Custom made garb is not cheap in the beginning, but worth it in the long run if it is well made of good materials, it fits right, and is made to last.

What is your time worth for one hour? If you have a  price, say $20 an hour for your level of experience for example, then you can work from there.

[ladyharrogate]

thank you all, what you've said echo's my thoughts.  It's nice to know I'm not being ugly LOL.

[LadyStitch]

When I started sewing professionally I had to start charging a consulting fee.  I had friends that just wanted me to go fabric shopping with them and to source materials for them.  This takes me away from paying customers. This is also why I haven't sewn any garb for myself in 6 years 
I finally had to tell people that if you want my "professional" help you have got to pay me in some way.  It may not be much, but my time is money. 
I have had people who just want me to make the pattern for them, and expect only to pay a couple bucks for it.  I'm sorry if I spend 2 hours building a custom pattern you have to pay for it. 

On the other hand, if someone comes to me with a question on how to do something I can point them to resourses and offer suggestions. I'm not going to do it for them unless they pay for it. 

The only way I can make my husband's garb is that it is a portfolio item.  Each year I pick something that in a challange for me to make and stretch my skills.  Typically it is something for him.  I use that in all my advertising that year.  Otherwise I know his garb would be pushing well over 1-2K in custom work alone.

In summary: This is your buisness. If they want to hire you to do your trade, then they must pay you.  If they want advise, that is free.  Just don't let your heart over shadow your buisness. You are a professional, be treated like one.

[Kate XXXXXX]

Tell them up front that you charge a 'shopping fee' of $X per hour plus travel and lunch!  After all, you are then acting as a specialist personal shopper.  You need to be reimbursed for both your time and your expertise.

There are a number of us professionals here who will critique a garment, off fitting advice and sewing method advice for free to help sewing enthusiasts.  However, if folk are ASKING for what amounts to sewing lessons, charge for those.

[Hoowil]

For a few years my brother did work as a web designer. If somebody wanted him to show them how to set something up, instead of setting it up himself, he would charge his regular rate. If anyone complained, he would respond that by teaching them at all, he was in fact loosing himself a customer, and taking longer to do the project as well, thus should in fact be charging more. It usually got people to see it more from his point of view.
I myself worked for years as a mechanic, and had friends ask if I could help with their cars. Generally, I'd tell them it would depend on what else I had going on, that if I was to pre-schedule and make arraignments to do it that I may have to look at it as work. If they supplied parts, cool. And the people who took me up on it had no problem paying me if I said I was short on cash, and needed something for my time (even if it was just lunch and coffee for while we worked). For Friends who wanted to learn, or had no problem helping, it worked for them, as it was cheaper than a shop, and I got paid for doing something I really didn't mind doing, while spending time with friends.
Over all, I'd say you should approach it on a case by case, person by person basis. This is your trade, and you have a marketable set of skills. Your time is worth money. However... my father was a chef for a very long time, and when asked about wether he cooked at home, his response was always "do you think the mailman goes for a walk on his day off?". He would go out of his way to make the blandest, most boring food imaginable when he made food at home so that we wouldn't ask him to. But even a chef has to cook for himself and his family sometimes, and you spend time and energy sewing for yourself and I assume your family. Because its something you do for a living it gives you the right to be mercenary about it, but its up to you just how mercenary you want to be, and are comfortable about being. Sharing your talents with friends can be fun, and endear you to them all the more, especially if they know you could be charging them.

[operafantomet]

I agree with what others have written:

In internet communities etc. I don't mind sharing research and giving advices. That's one of the things I love about the internet - it's accessible and full of useful info, no matter where you're from and what your abilities are. Much of what I've learned comes from the internet, or at least that's where my interest was sparked.

But if people seek you out and want your help in person, based on your profession, they better pay for it... You don't seek out a hair dresser and expect him/her to cut your hair for free, right?

[LaurenLee]

I am a dog trainer.. and I suffer this problem daily!  I will give advice to friends, but the level of advice  I give to strangers is just enough to make sure they know I am a professional, I know what I'm talking about, and they would be wise to hire me     I'll admit I'm not consistent, and I have done free lessons for those who can't afford them and are about to give their dog away to a shelter... so I guess I'd have to say "keep an open mind".  If the person you are giving free advice to could NEVER afford your services right now, you can go as far as you like.  They WILL speak of your generosity and talent, and it could bring you more paying business.

If your field is very competitive, it pays to build a great reputation in that field, any way you feel comfortable doing!  (does that make sense? )

Cheers,
Lauren

[Lady Kathleen of Olmsted]

This particular community is the EXCEPTION rather than the RULE.

Why??? Because many of us here sew  professionally for a living, and many here sew for pleasure. What we can learn from another enhances that pleasure all the more. I have learned much here as a result that I can relate that information to new clients.

TIME is MONEY. So it must be spent wisely.