for those who sew for and "help" other sew

[lollergirl]

i do commission work occasionally but am by no means a professional and i've had to learn to set very clear boundaries about what i'll do for free.  which isn't much any more.  i've had people expect everything from replacing buttons to making a full set of custom draperies & valances for free.  i'll give basic tailoring advice or help a friend pick out fabrics if i was going to go shopping anyway but other than that i'm charging for my time.  i've got an actual paper-and-ink list that i can hand someone so that there's no mistake that i mean business when i say that what they're asking me to do is something i expect to be paid for.  

i've also found that i'm very protective of my intellectual property.  i've developed a lot of personal techniques over the years through trial & error and i'm very wary of sharing them.  i tend to hold back a bit when giving a "how-to" session.  for example: if someone wants to know how to make fairy wings, i'm more than happy to show them the basic pantyhose technique but if they want anything more complicated than that they'll just have to pay me to make them.  

[Lady L]

Here's my tale. My Mom likes to help people, especially when it comes to sewing, quilting, or crocheting. Someone asked her if she would show them how to crochet a rug. So, of course, she did. Next thing she knew, that person was *teaching* a class and charging for what my Mom taught her to do, for free. And THEN, the technique showed up published in a book! I know crocheting rugs is not a new thing, but my Mom has her own techniques and it was quite obvious what happened.

[Dayna]

If someone wants anything, they're going to pay for it in some way.  If they want fabric advice, they'll pay me to go with them, so it's to their advantage to have fabrics pre-selected and then we'll go take a look.  It might just be buying my lunch if I was going to that store anyway, or it might be fabric for time.

I don't do a lot of custom garments lately since my client base is 400 miles away, but things like sleeves and forepanels and skirts that are more forgiving.  I charge a "standard" amount 'cause I know pretty much how long it takes to make them.

I embellish garments, so I will give an estimate and initial design concept, which goes back with me if they don't give me the commission.  I buy the materials and they reimburse, and labor is negotiated either by the hour or by the piece.  No one gets my designs, no one learns my "tricks", unless they are paying me for lessons.  I have a full-time job already, since there's little to no way that most people could afford 50 hours of beadwork at a living wage.

Harsh, maybe, but every hour I spend with someone giving my knowledge away, is an hour I could have spent working on a paying commission.  Yes, I'll barter skills for cash, there are things I hate to do.  I'd rather spend an hour beading someone's overskirt than spend 15 minutes making a pair of bloomers, so we swap and I get what I need (bloomers) instead of charging money which the customer may not have.  The customer then tells people who did the work.

You are not being selfish to expect something in return, whether this is how you make your living or not. 

[iain robb]

Nobody deserves to get anything free -- whether that is products or services or advice or help or anything.

Everyone who helps you in any way earns the right to be paid for that help.

If I want to give something away, that's my prerogative. And I enjoy doing that. But no one should ever expect me to give something away. People who expect me to give them something are the ones being rude.

[Cilean]

Angela Wrote:
I have a touchy question that I am in need of advice on.  This is my livelyhood and I'm pretty good at what I do.  Recently however I've run into a bit of a problem. 

A. "oh, I don't want you to make it, I just need you to show me how to make it and help me"
B.  Is it wrong for me to tell them I charge for this service? 
C.  What do you guys think? 




Hi Angela,

Answer to A:

Your time is expensive, I work for myself and I charge people accordingly.  So I need to make sure I have the time to finish my paid consignments, so yes I do need to schedule time for an outing.  I do feel you should be paid for your time as an 'Advisor' you could get several people together and make it a "Fabric Excursion Day". So this way you can kill several birds with one stone.

Answer to B: It is NEVER just a small thing, you will be called people will bring things to you for "Can you check this out" and "Can you help me do Blah"?First of all, you and I both know? These people will consume all of your free time.  So let me be blunt, charge for your time. 

Answer to C: So here was my plight;  I hold a sewing night at my home for new to the SCA. I had tons of books, and patterns and we typically have experienced sewers who can help people from week to week.  Enter a person who says she sewed before when she was younger and needs some help, I was still on maternity leave- I had a 5 week old baby at the time.  I went with her to the fabric store, and had her pick up an easy McCall's pattern that from start to finish should only take you 3 hours to make. I showed her the proper fabrics and she refused them. She decided she wanted a knit that was very pretty, but was a knit!   It was her choice, she also claimed to be a size 22, I explained that we had measured her and she was more a size 24 and that she should purchase that size accordingly.  So she purchased the materials and threads needed, at our next SCA meeting I had told her which days I was available and for her to call me....she did not so I asked for some friends to come over for dinner.

This lady shows up with all of her fabric, but no pins, no machine, not even scissors, at my home, with no call to me, no well anything!!!
She drops her fabrics on my sofa, while I was bringing down my own new Italian type gown I had just made, and I was showing my friend, and I was taken aback that this woman was here without notice.  Good manners has me and my friends helping her to cut out her gown, and then we pinned the whole thing together with my pins since she did not have any, while my dinner was baking.  I gave her all of the advice I could in this setting when she picks up my new gown and says why don't I make her one while I was at it.  My friend looked at her and said do you think Cilean is your slave? I laughed and said that the gown would be about $350.00 for me to make one, and she stared at me and then said Why you are not a real seamstress.....!  She left after that and then called me the day of the event she had planned on going to in garb, at 7am to a home that had a 7 week old baby in.... to tell me I did not cut the fabric correctly and when she sewed it together it did not fit!!

So that was my experience in helping someone to do something for free, it was not the last time I have helped people? But it is the last time I allowed someone to take advantage of me.  By the way? She never gave me back the pins, and pin holder, the patterns that she took to "Check out". It was a valuable lesson.



Your time is your own, you will do as you will with it, however don't be a doormat, and don't allow people to take advantage of your good nature and your time.

Cilean

[Adriana Rose]

I would have to say to the person that sure I will show you but I might charge you a bit of a fee. If you would take a class which is what they are basically asking you would pay a small fee.

There is nothing wrong with keeping food on your table, the economy sucks dead rat right now. I understand that people want to save money but asking a Seamstess to just help you is stupid when they make their money off of what you are asking.



I am no where near as good as most of you here but sewing takes time and sometimes is hard so you arent in the wrong at all with asking this. So go with your gut instincts on this.

hugs I hope this helped

[ladyharrogate]

thanks everyone!  Most have said exactly what I was thinking but I wanted to be nice and wasn't sure of where to find that balance. 

[Annastina]

I just came across this thread.  I don't post often, but I had to comment because I come at this from a consumer POV, not a merchant or craftsman.

I know just enough about sewing to think I can do it on my own, but more often than not, it ends in disaster.  The last time was so discouraging that I haven't looked at my machine in almost 2 years.  I would happily pay someone a consulting fee to take me shopping for material, give me advice on how to get started, etc.  And then I'd pay her (or him) again to help me with a fitting or two.  Having someone to help with just that would save me LOTS of money in mistakes.

[Hoowil]

I think you're an exception, it seems like alot of people don't really understand that having somebody walk you thru might as well be the time they spend sewing, and as a professional, they can request payment. I doubt many would argue that they wouldn't offer 'private lessons', but asking somebody to teach you their craft for free, because "they aren't doing it" is a different matter.

[LadyStitch]

Just last week I had co workers coming up to me asking me to make their kids halloween costumes because they saw the amazing coat I made for my rogue.  When I told them that if they were serious we could discuss the fee for my time over lunch some time.  They then got upset that I actually wanted PAYMENT of some sort.  Granted it might have been something relatively minor but the fact I wanted compensation hacked them off.  One had the gal to ask me  what right I had to demand payment to make them.  I pointed at my theater awards, the wall of programs of shows I costumed, and my degree. Ahh they could say was "Oh...." and left.  It was because of her that I had to hang the sign "I will not make your kids halloween costume." on the coat.

[CecilsTanequin]

Most of what I've read here is good sense and it's good to know a lot of people understand this conundrum. I already know I'm going to be dealing with the same situation soon. I just graduated with a degree in Theatre specializing in costuming and wardrobe. So here are some of my thoughts
1. I've invested a lot in my education and my knowledge and skills, though still growing, are hard earned. Nothing I do sewing related can be considered 'hobby' anymore. Just because this profession isn't as high-earning as others doesnt make it any less of a profession.
2. The writers helping writers is a decent comparison but so much of writing is subjective and highly based on individual creativity (talent not skill) - there's only so much you can "teach" about writing. On the other end of the spectrum is something like being an auto mechanic - skill and knowledge based. One would never ask a friend who's a car mechanic to fix your car for free. On a smaller scale would one be comfortable asking a friend who is a professional hairstylist to cut/style their hair for free? Something they would charge 30-50$ for for a client. What ladyharrogate and LadyStitch (and myself as a beginner) do professionally falls somewhere in between I think. A mix of subjective taste and creativity (talent) and hard earned experience, knowledge, and skill.
And so...
3. Suggestions and tips for free are one thing, but asking a professional for consultation should come w/ some offer of compensation. They've paid to take classes and paid precious time to cultivate their skills and hobbyists often want free mini-lessons from them so they can make their own costumes instead of paying professionals to make them.
By that token...
4. If a hobbyist wants to go solo to save money that's one thing. But if they want a really nice costume and think they have the skills to execute it and want help in consultation, they should be willing to pay for that help. It'll still be far cheaper than hiring a professional to do the whole thing afterall but this way they don't cut business out from under the professionals who live off their skills.

Sorry I'm not the best at organizing my thoughts and I intend NO SNARK at all. I do not look down on non-professional costumers by any means. Many of them know more than I still do and those that know less than I do have spent their time pursuing their own professions and I respect that (they're probably wiser than I am too).

Lastly, I think it's an issue of awareness as well. Non-pros and non-sewers often don't know that this is a living for some, and aren't aware of how much WORK it really is to hone these skills and produce good garments and costumes. Like LadyStitch ran into in an extreme degree, some people just don't realize.

[crazyrennie]

As with others,I just saw this post.
My .02 comes from a leatherworkers background not necessarily a tailor point of view.
I ask people if they have seen the movie "A Knights Tale'(most have).
I ask them if they remember the farris(female armorer).
my favorite line that she has is
"Every drop of sweat as a price tag on it."
I don't mind helping people or answering questions but if I make something for you-my time and knowledge-such as it is has a price.

[Kate XXXXXX]

My bottom line is: If I OFFER you advice, that's my prerogative.  If you ask me to do something, expect to pay.

With some folk I do skill or other swaps: I take up trouser hems for my neighbour of 20+ years: she can sew, but not as well or as fast as me.  And she looks after our cats when we are on holiday.  I help another friend with her sewing problems.  She sorts out my computer problems, when they are beyond Himself's skill area.