Are you a Mischevious Imp?

[LadyFae]

My husband was registering for a movie card (long time ago.)  The gal asked for his number and he responded with, "SHHH!  Not in front of my girlfriend!"  Oh man did that poor girl turn red!

[Hoowil]

coworker: i haven't seen my husband all day
me: don't worry i haven't seen mine either
( ofcourse i haven't seen mine he hasn't found me yet)

I haven't seen my husband in years. 

It's true! I'm still married, but we've been separated since 2005!

My parents separated in '93. They just got divorced last summer. More of my life was spent with them married but seperated than with them married and together.

[Tammy]

I haven't seen my husband in years. 

It's true! I'm still married, but we've been separated since 2005!

My parents separated in '93. They just got divorced last summer. More of my life was spent with them married but seperated than with them married and together.

Not really funny, but I had to laugh at this because....My parents married in 76. Separated in 90. Have not divorced to date!! I was ten when they split (I'm 30 now!), and they didn't want to risk a judge telling them what to do with me. So, for years they didn't divorce, then by the time a judge couldn't mess with any of us...it had been SO long that they didn't see the logic in spending the money on a divorce. I don't mind, as it's saved both my parents from marrying crazy folks!

[BubbleWright]

Years ago I put together a Kite Day event for an Employees Activity Association where I worked. I got a number of my hard core kiter friends to come to show off their kites. As for my kites, what I wasn't flying, I had lain out on the ground for display. One 4 year old was so entranced by my 8 foot tall Japanese fighting kite, he walked on it to the center to get a good view. I walked over to gently get him to move but his mother (with whom I worked) rushed over and scooped him off the kite. She apologized profusely but I thought it was no big deal... 4 year olds do things like that- it's in their contract. The following Monday Mom caught up to me in the break room, again apologizing. I said nothing, which she took as disapproval. Finally she said "Oh come on Felix, you like little children!", to which I replied dryly "Yes... barbequed...". After a millisecond of silence, those in the break room burst out in laughter and my friend fled back to her office. She didn't talk to me for 2 weeks.

[Hoowil]

I run a cafe, and routinely get customers who ask for extra room for cream in their coffees. One more than one occasion I've handed them cups with maybe a teaspoon of coffee in it, just to see if/how they react.

One of the ladies who does the food at one of our other sites was complaining about being busy today, and just asked the air "Where could all these people have come from?" I think i paused maybe half a second before replying "Well, from their parents most likely." She was so stuned by it that one of the other ladies working proceeded to go into the classic "birds & bees" lecture, just to keep it going. The poor woman ran and hid in the back room until she could stop blushing.

[Noble Dreg]

Went with some of my business reps to a restaurant in Newport beach the other day (travel for work).  Ask the hostess for a table by the Pier, said none would be available for an hour...I said "Well I think 'George' here disagrees" (pulled out a dollar).  Of course I did it with an 'over the top' attitude.

We waited 5 minutes.   

[Butch]

One of the ladies who does the food at one of our other sites was complaining about being busy today, and just asked the air "Where could all these people have come from?" I think i paused maybe half a second before replying "Well, from their parents most likely." She was so stuned by it that one of the other ladies working proceeded to go into the classic "birds & bees" lecture, just to keep it going. The poor woman ran and hid in the back room until she could stop blushing.

HA!  I had something like that happen to me once.  We had an office meeting, and during the meeting, one person asked:  "Where did these people come from?".  I looked at that person, folded my hands, and said:  "When a man and a woman love each other very much..."

[Kate XXXXXX]

At a recent frocking weekend, my pal and I were stuffing toy filling into fronts of the corsets on the dress dummies to fill them out to the proper silhouette.  The toy stuffing was christened 'spare tits', naturally.  Afterwards, I threw the toy stuffing into a bag with Green House on it.  Later I was asked where the toy stuffing was.  Without even thinking I said: The spare tits are in the Green House!

We got onto talking about the menopause, the way that Women Of A Certain Age do...  Her comment: You're the same all year round: it's like being a man, only clever!

[holierthanthou]

The gentleman I work with and I are always quipping off of each other as alter egos.  The other day a patron said she just loved him.  He immediatley turned to me and said... "She loves me!"  I said to her "The exorcisms will start immediately madame!"  To which he replied with a lecherous grin... "I'll give her some exorcising!"  I was left blushing.