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I admit it... I'm scared

Started by Rani Zemirah, October 15, 2008, 11:55:46 PM

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Rani Zemirah

Ok... I suppose I can just accept this compliment gracefully, and say thank you...!

And yes, Sir Clisto... you are welcome at our Fire! We have lately moved over to John's Inn for the circle, however, since there can often be less clothing than is common for a Candles for Prayers thread!!!  LOL  Please join us here for much merrymaking, frivolity and even a tankard or two!

http://www.renaissancefestival.com/forums/index.php?topic=5008.0
Rani - Fire Goddess

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Lord Clisto of York

Well, what if I make sure there are candles and I pray real hard for the other, will it fit here then? LOL.. :P
Invictus Maneo - I Remain Unvanquished

Rani Zemirah

When I started this thread I didn't know most of the people who post here regularly, either, or really many people here at all, but the people who make up this forum are amazing, and one by one they sent their support, prayers, hugs and laughter every time I needed them!!! The true inspiration is in the hearts of the people here, who give their time and compassion to so many, just to brighten someones day a bit...

I'm so sorry to hear that you're having to go the chemo route, also, but if there's one thing I continue to learn every day, it's that we can survive more than we think we can, especially if we have people who care about us!!! I would encourage you to post your own thread, and post in it often, and you will meet many of the same people who post here, because they give themselves to many others on here, and they have made so much of the difference during all of this! It's amazing what a lift it is to log on and find such an outpouring of love and support from friends you didn't even know you have, and to see them there day after day, week after week, and know they'll be there when you need them!

I will be thinking of you often from now on, kc, and sending you prayers for strength and healing. I hope to see your Candles thread when you're ready to let us in...

Rani - Fire Goddess

Aut disce... aut discede

Rani Zemirah

Quote from: sir clisto on December 16, 2008, 08:40:04 PM
Well, what if I make sure there are candles and I pray real hard for the other, will it fit here then? LOL.. :P

LOL... You may post here whenever you like, Sir Clisto, and I will always reply, but the dancing and drumming will still take place in John's Inn...!!! Please come join us anytime you like... there could even be a title to be had for just such a Champion as yourself. I hear there is active recruitment going on over there!!!  LOL
Rani - Fire Goddess

Aut disce... aut discede

Lord Clisto of York

I just made an appearance there and am observing for the moment.
Invictus Maneo - I Remain Unvanquished

Rani Zemirah

Tsk, tsk, tsk... no observers, remember...  LOL 

We have drummers, dancers, visitors and those whom the Goddess claims as Her own, but everyone participates in some way! I'm sure you'll find something to interest you, Sir...!
Rani - Fire Goddess

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Lord Clisto of York

Invictus Maneo - I Remain Unvanquished

Rani Zemirah

LOLOLOL  Wonderful, good Sir!!! We shall deal well all in the Circle! Stay and enjoy!!!
Rani - Fire Goddess

Aut disce... aut discede

Lord Clisto of York

Back t regular programing. Just figure I would put a little laugh or smile here for others going through rough times.
Invictus Maneo - I Remain Unvanquished

Rani Zemirah

That's kind of you, Sir. It's nice to have fellow Rennies wish you well, particularly when times are difficult. I thank you for your kindness!
Rani - Fire Goddess

Aut disce... aut discede

Rani Zemirah

#265
Friday all over again, and I'm not feeling so hot even before treatment... I seem to get more tired every week, and it takes less for me to become exhausted. Today I did some shopping, both holiday and weekly grocery, and before I was even done I thought I was either going to lose my lunch or just lay down and go to sleep, or possibly both! When I get like that I also get irritated, and find myself snapping at my daughter, who of course doesn't understand what she's done wrong. I always manage to let her know it wasn't her, but then I'm consumed by guilt for hours... I'm doing pretty good with the treatments themselves, but some of the other side effects are starting to really kick my @$$ during the week! I'm very tired of being very tired... maybe I'll sleep earlier tonight.

Oh, and the fevers are starting to come almost every day, usually later in the afternoon or evening...
Rani - Fire Goddess

Aut disce... aut discede

Lord Clisto of York

Well, keep a chin up that it IS the weekend. I went through this as well and you have to just keep talking to people or keep active as you can. Like I said before, Rani, try also writing all this down word for word in a journal how you feel, what you think, etc. Helps a lot.

Glad you went shopping etc.. That is all distractions from the crappy other stuff. And with your daughter as with our son, you have to sit her down and have a real involved discussion  until she does understand. Just a passing communication each time is confusing to kids. It really helped mine and he was 18 at the time. Hell, I even had to do that with a few co-workers who didnt understand. LOL... Just take it all slow while going through everything. Rushing only adds to stress which makes ya upset, in a bad or depressing mood and makes things go backwards. Take a deep breath, In, out, in, out and relax. See, aren't you feeling better already?  :)
Invictus Maneo - I Remain Unvanquished

Rani Zemirah

#267
Thank you, my friend... I've been talking to my daughter about all of this since it started affecting me, and even though she is only 7, she knows what the side effects are and how they may make me act sometimes, but that doesn't make it any easier for her to deal with when she's in the middle of it! And it doesn't make me feel any better about myself when it happens. I know it's not my fault, but try telling yourself that when your baby is crying because she doesn't know what she did wrong, but she's still getting snapped at by the one person in the world who's supposed to be on her side...

It always passes, and we always talk about it, but that doesn't make it ok, only understandable...

I'll be so happy when all this is just over and done, and I can feel more normal again! I do appreciate your encouragement, though, and I do actually have a journal that I write in regularly, and it does help, but sometimes it helps more when I write and someone actually answers, just like you have...   Thanks, again!
Rani - Fire Goddess

Aut disce... aut discede

lordwriothsley

Rani my dear sweet queen as always you continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
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Rani Zemirah

Thank you, my friend... I welcome them...
Rani - Fire Goddess

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