Snarked and Snarking~ How do you handle this?

[Miranda]

Maybe I just already look so Pissy no one wants to say anything to me?

I don't know....my persona is decidedly demure and exceedingly nice....and I'm approached on a regular basis, is generally by people who want directions to the joust or to take photos with me.

[Cilean]

I am so glad others have some comments about this situation!! I was afraid others had not had the experience or could not empathize with this experience!

So I have comments

To nliedel:

I have been part of the Faires for 29 years now, and part of the SCA for the past 23 of those years!  I am so sorry you had that experience; I can only hope you will try again and see if you have a different one!!  I feel I feel badly that you had to deal with a loser whose thoughtless words caused you a moment's pain.  It takes all sorts to be in a hobby, you will meet all of the characters, some you avoid. Sounds you met one to be avoided LOL

As to everyone being a Snert?   Well I can be truthful and yes I have been and probably will be again! However? I would never be crass enough to tell you without you asking me? That I thought your stuff sucked!!   I have thought "What is with the 'I dream of Jeanie'garb? Or a person who has a 4 boobed bodice and they are only being held together by their smock and a wish.  Usually I go up introduce myself and attempt to learn what the person was thinking and how I can suggest anything to help them on their way.

Unless that is as far as they want to play, and then? Good for them, while it is not something I personally would wear? It is your choice so brava and I move on with my life.  I became a Chatelaine because I wanted people to have a positive face on the SCA.

On Being a Laurel

While the Laurel I had is clueless, she actually feels her crass comments are #1 helpful and that #2 YOU must listen because she is a LAUREL! She is firmly of the attitude that truth should be swift and blunt. And of course you must listen to her munificence!!! She has reduced some to tears and a couple people after dealing with this person has left the SCA altogether and when she is brought to task she has been puzzled that anyone would have issue with her views.   

What have I done to make a Change?

I became a person that is a go to person within the SCA, and I attempt to make the experience special and fun and hopefully all who come to the Dream? Will leave not with a nightmare, but with part of that dream!  I have also learned to monitor my voice and work with people who might not want to be historically accurate, I just worked with several lovely people who want to be Pirates....so I showed them what they would have worn in the 1500's and they wanted *you all know* so I helped them tone down the 1700's pirate, by using Italian City States Clothing with some flair! 

Cilean

[groomporter]

I think the reply should be:,
"This is a Renaissance-themed fair -not a living history museum." and "I'm a paying customer (if that applies) and you're being incredibly rude, if you're employed here you need a lesson in customer service"

[groomporter]

I think the reply should be:,
"This is a Renaissance-themed fair -not a living history museum." and "I'm a paying customer (if that applies) and you're being incredibly rude, if you're employed here you need a lesson in customer service"

I think the reply should be:,
"This is a Renaissance-themed fair -not a living history museum." and "I'm a paying customer (if that applies) and you're being incredibly rude, if you're employed here you need a lesson in customer service"

-Oh and I'm someone who does believe fairs could be a bit more historically accurate and still be entertaining, but that doesn't excuse rudeness.

[nliedel]

The snarking hurt, Cilean, but not as much as when a cast member of MIRF (no longer there) told me flat out I should be burned. I was wearing a pent and it was not said as a joke. I plan to make an extra effort with people who try hard and people who look like they want to fit in.

[Margaret]

Yeah - snarking does hurt when you still have your 'garb training wheels' on.  When you want your garb to be "better" but you have no idea how to do it better.

Comments I have run into are "Oh, you are so close, but that (the bodice - it did not fit quite right) needs to be done better."  and "Oh, how interesting."  And a person can tell when that is a compliment or a slam.

Now, I really don't care what people say to me.  I like my garb to be as HA as I care to make it.  The things that are not HA - like my grommets I don't cover over - I truly don't care about.  If someone said something about them, they'd get an "Oh, I know." from me and probably a comment on unsolicited advise.

The ONLY time I said something to a person about their garb was when I saw a woman who's boobs were so far up in her bodice that you could see her nipples.  But even then, you don't say something loudly,  I tapped her on the shoulder and whispered to her behind my fan and said something like:  "Madame, whilst you do look lovely today, the puppies are so high up in the bodice that I can see their brown noses."  It took her a second to get what I said but then she went "Oh my God!" tucked in a bit and then asked OK now?  She was wearing a typical faire garb that looked like she had just bought it from one of the shops, she still had on her tennis shoes a flower wreath from one of the shops and a beer in her hand.  "Madame, you look lovely and look as if you are having a wonderful time.  I wish you a good and great day."  Grinning from ear to ear, she caught up with her friends.

It's really all in the delivery and if someone ASKS you for help, teach them, show them where they can make better choices and suck another persone into the realm of garb hoarders!!!

[Lady Rosalind]

Mistress margaret, you handled the puppy incident very well! I cases like that, it is truly kinder to let the wearer know that there is a "malfunction" than to let them wander the faire with more showing than they intended. Props to you!

While I haven't been snarked, a friend of mine was on the receiving end of a comment that ended up hurting her deeply. I don't believe that the comment was meant with any malice, but was more along the lines of what the Laurel who thought she was being nothing but helpful said.

If people would just remember that they don't always know the reasons why someone, even on cast, is wearing what they are wearing.... (space constraints, weather, mud, etc.)

Our poor Maid Marion was snarked as well, as she was wearing her forest garb rather than her court gown (which is lovely). She replied that the hoop would get caught in the trees, so she made clothing that was more suitable. 

[Alluna]

I don't aspire to historical accuracy (my look is historically inspired) and I make no apologies for that.

This is the best comment I've taken away from this thread. Also...the incredible comebacks! Now I have an arsenal at the ready. I'm working my first faire in Ohio starting on Labor Day weekend, so this kinda info helps. They are making uniforms for us, but all the same, it helps to know that this kind of mentality exists...and I thought snarkiness was limited to my sassy kids!

[gem]

I would never be crass enough to tell you without you asking me? That I thought your stuff sucked!!   I have thought "What is with the 'I dream of Jeanie'garb? Or a person who has a 4 boobed bodice and they are only being held together by their smock and a wish.  Usually I go up introduce myself and attempt to learn what the person was thinking and how I can suggest anything to help them on their way.

Cilean, I'm *sure* you meant well, but I think it's the entire idea that a total stranger would approach someone and offer unsolicited commentary--however "helpful" the person meant to be--about her garb that bothers most people.  "Attempt to learn what that person was thinking and how I can suggest anything?"  I know that all of us here on the boards *love* to help others with their garb, but for me this crosses the line.  It just seems awfully presumptuous to offer a total stranger my opinion on his/her garb, let alone my "help."

But it's nice to see the *other* side--what the person on the receiving end perceives as "snarking," the person offering the commentary may truly mean well, and want to share her knowledge! 

But I still think the line is too fine a one to cross unless invited.

[Capt Gabriela Fullpepper]

I actually had a SLIGHT snark done to me this weekend at CoRF by a Mundane, How funny.

I took my camera... the big honking thing that I call my Papperazzi Camera with the not so overly long lens that takes great photo's. I was in garb... of course I'd be in garb and a guy stoped while I was talking a photo of someone else in garb and said ,WOW some nice Renaissance Camera! I just smiled and walked away. I felt like saying to him but didn't

"Sir, this is actually a magical box filled with 10 tiny magical fairies inside that scribe an image of what I point it at and open their window for them to see. I feed them children, stray cats and Snarkers like you, Have a Good Day my lord! 

Oh no offence to you cat owners.

But it was so nice as the outfit I wore to CoRF today which is not (tome it's not) H/A I got only compliments on including the court. Makes you feel good when someone says something nice.

[nliedel]

I actually had a SLIGHT snark done to me this weekend at CoRF by a Mundane, How funny.

I took my camera... the big honking thing that I call my Papperazzi Camera with the not so overly long lens that takes great photo's. I was in garb... of course I'd be in garb and a guy stoped while I was talking a photo of someone else in garb and said ,WOW some nice Renaissance Camera! I just smiled and walked away. I felt like saying to him but didn't

"Isn't it amazing what the Italians invent? A miniature portrait box. What will they think of next?"

[Capt Gabriela Fullpepper]

I actually had a SLIGHT snark done to me this weekend at CoRF by a Mundane, How funny.

I took my camera... the big honking thing that I call my Papperazzi Camera with the not so overly long lens that takes great photo's. I was in garb... of course I'd be in garb and a guy stoped while I was talking a photo of someone else in garb and said ,WOW some nice Renaissance Camera! I just smiled and walked away. I felt like saying to him but didn't

"Isn't it amazing what the Italians invent? A miniature portrait box. What will they think of next?"

Italians? I thought it was those Crazy Germans... Sheesh see what I know 

[Lady Neysa]

"Historically accurate?  If I was historically accurate, at my age I'd be dead.  As would you, because they would have already burned you at the stake, you witch.

There are a lot of good comebacks here, but I like this one in particular.

Luckily I've never been snarked, maybe gotten some interesting looks. Considering some of the homemade outfits I've come up with over the years, that's truly incredible.  I know our garb isn't HA, and I'm not trying to be. I go with what I can afford. Once my daughter was wearing a homemade flower headband and someone asked where we got it. They said they liked it better than the ones the faire sold.

There was another time years ago when a comment was made to us, and I was never really sure if it was meant as a snark or not.  I had my young  daughter and young sister with me.  They were dressed in some of my embarassing early attempts.  My sister was in a "fairy tale princess" style dress. It was a  made over bridesmaid type dress (yeah, I went there) with long chiffon flowing sleeves, and grommets up the back to make it seem more rennish.  I do still have the dress because it is a rather pretty green brocade-ish looking fabric. I still have the hand sewn and beaded juliet cap with chiffon veil I made too.  Anyway..someone who I believe was an employee walked up to us and said,  "you all look very nice... it isn't proper, but I just wanted to say that."  I walked away muttering, "thanks, I guess."  I was never really sure if she meant that our garb wasn't proper but she thought it looked nice anyway, or if she meant that it wasn't proper for her (as an employee) to make the comment, but she was saying it anyway.  Thats why I walked away kinda confused.  That's the only time anyone's ever said anything. Not that I really give a rats behind if they do, I was just never sure how I should have taken that. 

[Dev]

I've never been snarked, though in last year's garb it would have been completely reasonable for me to have been.  It was my halloween costume I made to cosplay my WoW character, which I modified to make it more faire-friendly.

I snark to myself at people, but it was fairly good natured.  Snicker and move along.  Old ladies in prom gowns pay to get in and at least they're trying.  Girls with scene hair wearing a Scary Kids Scaring Kids shirt with striped leggings, ballet flats, a tutu, and fairy wings at least got the general idea.  PRF isn't very strict about being HA - we have pirate guys, pirate ladies, belly dancers, fairies, a barbarian, me, wizards, guys who just want a place to wear a kilt - and the only people who look out of place are the ones who aren't dressed at all.  At the stricter faires, it may be different.

[Alluna]

Frankly,


This is my view, and pot stirring.

If the faires have employees who are willing to look down on patrons, then faires will simply die out.

It's called 'sucking out the fun'. If there is a hefty subculture prowling the streets of fairs, then goofy teenagers (okay,adults!) won't feel comfortable coming dressed up like Harry Potter characters and fairy princesses. It's supposed to be a fun place where nerds from all walks of life can converge and do extroverted things like talking to strangers, taking on accents and even (gasp!) flirting. Let's face it, none of us were the star cheerleader or football player in high school. It's absolutely wonderful to have a place full of such easygoing and accepting people. It's a shame that it would be ruined here and there by uptight H/A nazi's.

There, of course, should be a core group that maintains a sense of historical accuracy at the faire to hold together the basic premise, but I don't think that it should in any way be expected of any patrons at any time. It is a noble thing to commit to H/A, but it shouldn't be evangelical.

Dressing and acting strictly 16th century should not be the goal of attending a ren fest. That's clearly not what the community expects from these events. Ren faires in America typically capture a couple hundred years worth of European history, as well as a horde of fantasy elements. If you take out the dragons, pointy-hat princesses, fairy wings and crowns with plastic flowers...then it interests the general population about as much as civil war renactments. Not a widely popular event.

Besides, I'll gladly call out all the Pagans like me that dress up at ren fests. Oh snap! Not very H/A now, are we! Mwah!