I admit it... I'm scared

[Rani Zemirah]

Nice!!!     

The Pirate Hawt Pink has been marked in the book, Commodore!!!

I can't wait to see her all garbed up!!!  LOL 

[Taffy Saltwater]

Why am I envisioning a pirate drag queen?

[Rani Zemirah]

(gigglesnerk!)

I would never do that to you, dear! If you want to be Hawt Pink then it will be completely on your own terms, and she will look however you envision her, and no other way! I bet she's got a whole lotta sexy in her, though!!!      

[Taffy Saltwater]

This is going to be too much like fun.  Hawt Pink is just looking fer a little booty, eh? 

[Rani Zemirah]

A little?!? I'd say it's her charted course, and she'll not make home port again until she's taken her prize!!!

ROFLMAO!!!  Oh, the feathers she'll wear...   

[Taffy Saltwater]

I was thinking that instead of a fox tail, Hawt would wear a tail of boa - speaking of feathers.  She's pretty single minded in her quests - sparklies, sharpies & dingalings!

How're you feeling this evening?

[Rani Zemirah]

She sounds absolutely purrrrfect!!! The sparklies should be real, though, the sharpies deadly, and the dingalings... well, I'll just leave those to her discretion... LOL   

I haven't taken the treatment yet, because I drifted off to sleep on the couch for about two hours! I sleep at the oddest times, now, anyway, but I can feel my body starting to want a more normal pattern again, so that's good.

I seem to have turned into a lizard recently, and it's a combination of the dehydration and still having the heat on. I've decided that after this is over and my body has rehydrated itself... I'm going to the spa to have a facial! Maybe even a full body salt and sugar scrub, as well!!! I deserve it, and it will be my treat to myself for being such a good little lab rat...

Now, back to Capt. Hawt... Wonder what the name of her vessel is? The Pink Panther?!? LMAO! 

[Lady Amy of York]

Why am I envisioning a pirate drag queen?

ROFL  !  Love  the  new  name  for Taffy  !   

[Rani Zemirah]

It's been lots of fun envisioning her so far!  She'll definitely get attention in the lanes!!!  heheheh  The birth of a new persona is always an exciting time, and makes me proud to have been there... (snifflesnerk)

This morning wasn't pleasant... with the worst chills, shakes and joint pain so far. If it gets worse... well, I'm determined to finish it, but it's going to be one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life, especially now, since I'm so much more involved in the process, with having to mix the chemicals myself, and inject with the syringe instead of the Redipen. Makes it so much more involved, and somehow more... immediate, in some way. Like I was more cut off from the process before, and now I'm experiencing it fully for the first time.

You know... I've often wondered about things like rites of passage, coming of age, vision quests, initiations and other kinds of life tests that people have faced for millenia, when moving from one phase of their life into another, and it occurs to me that here in this part of the world very few people get to experience things which are traditionally held to signify that someone is crossing from one state of being into another, and to facilitate and celebrate that fact.

I think chemo qualifies as one of those tests... Even if I only had to do the minimum, it's still the most intense long-term pain I've ever endured, and while it wasn't child birth, it's getting serious enough to be up there in the same category.

Hmmmm... I wonder who, and what, I'll be when I'm done...

[RenRobin]

With prayers and positive thought...a healthy, stonger person and sympathetic with those with whom you have walked that path with, so that you like Taffy can give encouraging words to others that have to face chemo.  I admire you for the courage that you show, even when you do not feel like it Rani.  You stay in my prayers, you and your kido.

[Rani Zemirah]

That is something I would wish, also. Taffy, and many others, have been such wonderful inspirations to me through all of this, and I wouldn't have been able to get through it without everyone of you!

It's been a little difficult for me to keep up with all the different threads lately, that I've limited myself to replying in only a few every day, so sometimes I miss replying in some of the other Candles threads for a few days, but it's taking more energy all the time just to post in the few I can manage. Soon, though... so soon, I'll be done!

I appreciate the prayers and thoughts more than I can say, and I know they help!!!

[Taffy Saltwater]

I'm sorry you're not feeling well. You have been a trooper & I have nothing but admiration for your intestinal fortitude.  You might want a liitle chamomile tea.

[Rani Zemirah]

Yeah... it might help said intestinal fortitude... LOL  As a matter of fact, I have some really good chamomile tea in the cupboard. Think I'll have a mug with my supper, such as it is...

The fever is on it's way back... I can feel it. I could deal with that, and the shaking, if it weren't for the joint pain... why does it have to hurt so much?!?

Ok, now I'm whining, so I need to eat before I'm forced to slap myself!!! Mmmmm... cheesy garlic bread.

[Lady Amy of York]

Girlfriend, you are allowed  to  whine   now  and  then !
Hang in there, you are almost  thru  this,  the  finish line is  in  sight.
  Hugs, love  !

[Taffy Saltwater]

How're you doin', ladybug?